diary_

No one knows how eager he wants to find someone to talk to. It has been a few months since his dream started, but he seems did not enjoy his dream so much. His customers, his friends seem so alien to him that he could not help to have such feelings.

“Introverted people will be discarded by this world” he thinks. No matter how his family, friends or whatever someone encourage him, he just cannot change. Is that because there is not something big, something powerful enough happens to him? If this is the case, I suppose he must not hope that happen. What a poor guy. Who would love such a person? Does he deserve to be loved? But I know he needs love.

It seems unfair to blame his ex to dump him. As said before, who would love such person, a person without hope, without eager to change, without a sense for safety to anyone who around him. He must be regretful to let her go.

Few people would love their jobs. He thought he might be an exception. But after starting to work, he felt he is the same. The job, at least at current stage, is completely not what he thought it would be, but fortunately this is not his last choice, and being forced to work is not everyone’s last choice. There must be an easier way of making a living.

Actually he has done a reasonable good job, at least in someone’s eyes, even though those people’s opinion may not be that important in terms of benefiting his career, even though those people’s opinion may not be genuine, even though what he expects is not those people but only her, even though she is yet to come into his life. What a pity if someone’s ability cannot support his dreams. Would that become a tragedy if he even does not want to change? Seeing him like this may even become a torture for people who watch him, who come into his live and who love him.

What on earth he could do? What he is doing is not value adding to his future. What he is expected could be done at any time anywhere. This is a waste of time.